


Don’t Turn Me Home Again

by likearollingwheeze



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Bit of sad Eric, M/M, Well I’m terrible, moody Eric and dele smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likearollingwheeze/pseuds/likearollingwheeze
Summary: Dele is out for forgiveness.





	Don’t Turn Me Home Again

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little DeleDier story that popped up in my head. Hope you like it!

* * *

_You ask me of me to enter, but then you make me crawl  
And I can't keep holding on to what you got, 'cause all you got is hurt_

_***_

It was nighttime, perfect for being in incognito mode, away from everything and anything. Eric felt like an absolute coward hiding out in his room like this. He’d spent his evening hiding under his covers and studying his pain. 

Eric was also tossing and turning in his bed, his sheets sticking to his body like a terrible wetsuit. The fan he had up and running was doing nothing to penetrate through the thinly layered sheen of sweat on his fair skin.

He regretted few things in his life, mostly some stupid and rash decisions from his past. This, as much as it hurt, he did not regret. 

Eric did not regret taking a boy with curly locks up hair under his wing. He did not regret any of those midnight talks they had, which were treasured close to Eric’s heart. He did not ever regret putting his trust into Dele. 

So no, if you were to ask him, he did not regret falling in love. 

Eric had liked people before. He never really pursued, though. After all, one certain boy did tell him that you can’t look for love, it finds you. 

Then again, he wonders who the hell Dele was to give advice like that. Was Dele saying that the person you’re supposedly meant to be with makes a beeline from wherever they are, into your arms?

That was two years ago, and love is not the easy thing.

To Eric, love was not just simply a feeling. Love was a choice. He was nearly a quarter century old and that was the knowledge he planned to keep in his thoughts, with every move he made. You can’t just simply love the best traits of a person. Above all, you can’t choose who you want to fall in love with. 

Love was a choice because it meant commitment. Eric chose to not walk away for any and every idiotic move Dele had ever done. He wasn’t the type of man to walk away,  let alone would he ever try to walk away from Dele. This boy had brought Eric the good and the bad, the same as the pleasure and the pain.

Love was complicated. He was suffering because of love, but at the same time he had hope because of love.   

Eric was a simple man and he didn’t ask for much. As long as you told him the truth the first time he asked for it, you could continue to remain on his good side. 

That was the exact opposite of what Dele had done four months ago. 

Nonetheless, Eric continued to love the boy, because after all, it was his choice. 

Eric lets out a hoarse groan when he hears his doorbell ring, waking him up from where he was pleasantly sulking. He sits up, and immediately regrets it when he feels like a freight train carved a valley through his skull, catching him off balance for a moment. 

Once he’s back on his feet, he quickly puts on some sweatpants and shirt that were hanging off his chair as he goes to open his door. 

In all honesty, Eric not surprised to see Dele standing there, looking like a tourist in a foreign city. 

“Can I come in?” Dele asks, looking quite small for his age.

”Thought you’d be testing out mattress springs with that girl,” Eric accuses, his voice firm and steady. 

As much as he does love Dele, he can’t help but get him riled up at times. 

“Diet, come on, I don’t wanna be alone right now and I just want to talk,” Dele pleads in a small voice, and Eric softened, opening the door wider for Dele. 

They take the long walk from his front door to his sofa, before Eric waddles to his room to turn off his fan. Eric doesn’t realize Dele is right behind him until he’s about leave, Dele leaning against the doorframe. 

“You look like shit, mate,” Dele confirms, studying Eric’s sunken eyes.  

“Wonder why,” Eric shoots Dele a glare and it’s enough to shut him up. 

Dele speaks up after a few moments of silence,“When was the last time you cleaned your room?” 

“It’s only a bit messy,” Eric retorts, stretching over to pull the covers that had fallen on the floor, back onto his bed.

“Yeah, it’s only a bit of a mess over here, and over there,” Dele repeats as he points to different parts of Eric’s room.

Eric rolls his eyes as he straightens up, folding his arms over him as a barrier,”You wanted to talk?”

Dele exhales, pointing to Eric’s bed,”Sit.”

He complies, sitting on the edge of his bed, Dele right next to him as they’re both facing a wall.

”That wasn’t me tonight,” Dele whispers, almost to himself as he plays with his hands.

"Sure seemed like it was you who was grinding that girl up,” Eric replied, his words bitter on the tip of Dele’s tongue. 

Dele winces and closes his eyes,”Don’t make this harder on me than it is already.”

”Oh, cause you’ve made it so easy for me these past couple months,” Eric exclaims in a venomous voice. 

”I’m sorry, Dier,” Dele replies pitifully, pissing Eric off.

”I’m sorry is all you have to say? How could you just sit on this while I was fucking dying inside?”

Eric sounds desperate now, they both do.

”I,” Dele hesitates. “I don’t know.”

”You know, when you told me that you’d broke up with her, all I wanted was to just shout,’Me! Me! I’m the answer!’ Hopeless, was I.”

Dele truly had broken him.

“Why didn’t you then?”

Eric snorts as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world,”Because I comforted you after you broke up with her. And then you proceeded to sleep around with a new girl every night you went to a club.”

Dele rests his head on Eric’s right shoulder, still keeping his distance. 

“I don’t even know why I actually ended things with her,” Dele admits. 

Eric just hums in acknowledgement. 

“Well, all I know is you really need to find a better coping mechanism,” Eric sighs.  

“Don’t you ever get frustrated with me, Diet?”

Eric sighs again, leaning his weight on his outstretched arms behind him,”I do at times, but then I remember all the reasons why I _did_ like you in the first place.”

Dele crosses his ankles,”You mean in the beginning of our friendship?”

Eric nods with a shy smile,”I’ll remember you for your diving, or your shitty dancing and think,’Maybe he’s not so bad.’”

Dele raises his head off Eric’s shoulder,”So you only remember me for my bad things?”

Eric frowns a little bit,”No, no, not at all.”

”Hm.”

Eric lies down on his bed, his feet flat on the wooden floor. It’s dark in his room, the orange lights of nearby lamposts push through his blinds, creating a grill-like pattern on his floor. Dele sits on the edge of his bed, his clothes blending in with the night except for the little shine from the drops of sweat that had formed on the nape of his neck. 

Dele spoke up after a few minutes of somber silence,“You want to know when I realized things had changed?”

Dele didn’t wait for a response, but he slowly layed on the bed next to Eric, whose knees were still bent at the edge of the bed. 

“It was a delicate thing, really. But I guess it was odd when I wanted to sleep next to you after you’d spend the night at my place.”

The entirety of Eric’s arm caressed against Dele’s, who proceeded to intertwine their hands. 

“How can you just not fall in love with someone after you share the most bang-average ideas or open yourself up to each other at midnight,” Eric’s whispery voice is laced with desperation. Admitting himself to Dele felt like he was being hoisted away from the thousand pound weight on his throat. 

Dele closed his eyes, taking in a slow breath and continuing to purse his lips together. 

“And when you asked me why did all of those moment have to be so hard, I really just _needed_ to tell you that someone already _did_ love you with everything they had,” Eric answers in a pleasing manner. 

“Dele, I _loved_ you with every piece of myself, and I really don’t think I had ever cared for someone as much as you,” Eric explains as he caresses Dele’s hand with his thumb. “And then I was counseling you through bad dates, you telling me that they weren’t what you were looking for.”

”Dele, _you_ knew _and_ you pulled the rug from under me _,_ you knew how I felt about you, _and_ you could have very well told me you felt the same,” Eric’s voice is gruff as Dele reaches out for the one he nearly destroyed.

”You know I wasn’t ready,” Dele’s voice is merely above a whisper.

“Why are you so afraid of loving, Del?“

”Cause this is not just some perfect science, Eric. We really fancy each other, _I know that_ ,” Dele retorts. “Don’t you take into consideration that maybe, _just maybe_ , this won’t work out how we want it to?”

Eric’s features strain as his cheeks swell up under his eyes in displeasure,”Don’t you realize that you only think this will pan out as failure?”

Dele stays silent for a bit,”I simply can’t bear  the idea of losing you and the mere thought of it is what makes me afraid to try.”

”But you won’t, and yes, we love each other, I’m not afraid of saying that. What I _am_ afraid of is both of us not willing to try and make this work. Our love is a _choice_ , Dele,” Eric affirms as Dele’s fingers play with his own. “ _We_ are the ones who will choose to take this step. I’m ready, are you?”

Eric hears the rustling of his sheets as Dele sits up, hoisting him up, too. They both sit on the edge, Eric’s right leg in between Dele’s spread legs as they’re facing each other. Dele takes a minute to himself to looks outside the window and to the night, the street lights illuminating his face with cut-up orange reflections. Eric tilts his head a bit as he tries to read him.

His eyes dart over to Eric’s own in confirmation, Dele’s voice is dry as he whispers,”Where are we even supposed to go from here?”

”I don’t think there’s a place meant for us, if that’s what you’re asking,” Eric states with a smile as he places his hand on Dele’s knee. “But if that’s what you want, we’ll make our own. Wherever it is.”

It wasn’t soon before their first shy kiss was shared in the humidity of the post-rain filled night.


End file.
